Phyllis Reardon M.Ed

Life Coach

 

Home sickness for college students is very common in the first weeks of classes. I recall one day in particular while working on my Masters at University, several years ago. It was mid September, two weeks into classes, and as I entered the library, I heard sobbing coming from the area of the pay phones. This young woman/late teens was crying uncontrollably into the phone. As a mother, I was wondering just how the mother/father was feeling on the other end of the phone line. She sounded so full of despair.  I do hope they didn’t tell her to pack her bags and come home.

 

 Some students have many life experience and although may miss their family, the loneliness doesn’t interfere with their education; while others are more sheltered and find it exceedingly difficult to move away from the security of home and all the benefits home life brings with it.

 

It was once said that the greatest gifts we came give our children are, “their roots and wings”. As parents the latter may cause us some problem but it is necessary if your children are to grow.  It certainly makes heading to College/University an easier transition.

 

Changes in technology certainly can help in lessening   ‘ college home sickness’. The young crying phone student I encountered several years ago, given the newest technology may have been up lifted by a few minutes on Skype with mom and dad, instant message from family/friends, text messages.

 

The issue of home sickness should be address before your son or daughter leaves home. The fact that you acknowledge that this may happen to them and if it does it is normal, will be a sense of comfort for them.

 

Also talk about the means of communication you will use. Keep them informed of your travel schedule and supply them with alternate phone #s in case of emergency or homesickness. When they call, let them talk. Ask them open ended sentences. There maybe things they want to discuss but this may take a few minutes for them to broach the subject. I like to use, “so what’s on the go today?” It doesn’t focus on them, and it keeps conversation more open and general, allowing room for conversation flow.

 

Truly listen. Listen deeply to their words. You know your son and daughter best. Listen to what they are not saying as well as to what they are saying. Encourage them but also hold them accountable.

 

 Coach Phyllis